"Well, I’m legally psychotic, I should be
on at least 4 or 5 different medications
that I don’t have access to now that the
world’s ended, I’m a pawn in the big
overall plan to ‘save the world’, I’m a
clone of a guy everyone’s in love with
and I have a debilitating mental disease
ripping my brain apart. That’s what’s wrong
"I wanna be the best as I can. Being the best person. Grown up and being better will help me to be a better actor. I’m not perfect, I just want to be good."
[text] psh does it count if i don’t move a finger while we play
[text] i’ll probably focus on throwing shells at you so you end up 11th
[text] feel the love
[text] you say feel the love but all i’m getting is hate
[text] it’s not my fault you suck at mario kart babe
"I’d be lost without my favorite taste tester."
"Yeah, I better be your favourite taste tester."
She doubts it’s his last one.
She’s probably correct.
the assholery is strong with this one.
or, well, it seems so. who is he
king of babylon?
newt almost rolls his eyes, but the little bit of self-
control that he still possesses holds him back. plenty
of time for sarcastic patronization later, when they’ve
become more acquainted.
”no, beautiful eyes. should i? did you win miss america 2013?”
”i don’t keep up with that stuff. sorry.”
(never mind. the sarcasm starts now.)
the kid doesn’t know if it’s hilarious
that his own body guard has no idea
who he is, or totally pathetic.
“here’s a hint, jackass: your employer is the
most important man in america.”
he crosses his arms over his chest.
“and i happen to be his son.”
"Ermmm, well I’ve never made it before."
Hurt- he’d tried his best"I’m sorry, apologetic- not ashamed. Would you rather I leave?" He turned to go, mac & cheese container in hand.
"I suppose you can stay." It comes out as a sigh. "Even though your mac and cheese is sub-par."
He could not lie. “Indeed.” Dark eyes swept over the young ensign, brows furrowed. “There is an intruder aboard the Enterprise. If you will come with me— I will escort you to your quarters where you will remain until security has secured the ship.”
Instantly he’s on the defensive. “But sir, I’m more than capable of helping, and another pair of eyes and ears is always preferable.” His hand twitches toward his phaser but Finn refrains from arming himself just yet.
"There’s a dead human in our house."
"I don’t kill people, that’s my least favorite thing to do."
"And I, uh, stabbed him 37 times in the chest."
"How could you not know that?"
"I’m in the wrong here. I suck."
"What happened to his hands?"
"My stomach was making the rumblies, that only hands could satisfy."
"What is wrong with you?!"
"Well, I kill people and eat them, so that’s two."
“You sunk an entire cruise ship.”
“Then you started making out with the ice sculptures!”
"Why is the lifeboat all red and sticky?”
“Well, they were, uh, they were taking all the croissant rolls.”
“I have a problem. I have a serious problem.”
“Shhh! D’you hear that? That’s the sound of forgiveness.”
“That is what forgiveness sounds like. Screaming and then silence.”
“In that case, I should probably mention that all our luggage is filled with orphan meat.”
“I’m building a meat dragon and any meat won’t do.”
“You know what? Forget it. I’m not even shocked any more.”
“Why don’t you blow out your candle?”
"It’s hard to hear you over the sound of melting city.”
“I ripped the tag off a mattress.”
"And friendship is two pals munching on a well roasted face together."
“I think I’m gonna throw - oh, one just touched me.”
“I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence.”